Girl Relax: Straight Men DO Exist.

The other day I was surfing through Facebook and came across a post highlighting an article entitled “10 Signs on How to Tell if he is on the Down-Low”. Of course with a title like that anyone would be a bit curious to see what it had to say. I knew that whatever the ‘signs’ were they would not be based on any type of fact. I clicked on the link and to my surprise, the article was on the page of Farrah Gray. Some of you may be asking ‘who is Farrah Gray’, and to be quite honest I know very little about him myself. I am aware of him being a self-made millionaire, recipient of numerous accolades and author of best-selling books about obtaining financial success; but as far as the other hats he wears I am unsure. I took a deep breath, perused the list of things straight men should not do and chuckled through them all. It was buffoonery at its finest; yet, I know that some women will take these observations to heart and leave a perfectly good (and heterosexual) man because of stereotypical assumptions rooted in one person's ideology of how gay men behave.

For one to consider themselves a connoisseur of men on the DL would mean they studied the behaviors of DL men from a well mapped out perspective. To create such a list one would have to analyze the qualitative and/or quantitative date that would lead to these findings. That being said, I would like to know where was the pool of DL men drawn from? Was it a randomized study of African-American men residing within a certain demographic? What was the median age of the men? Did the study separate participants based upon educational levels, or were those with advanced degrees studied alongside men with little education. I am really interested to know how the author came to his conclusions.

It is no secret that there are men who have sex with both men and women without making the female partner aware (for the record those men are bisexual, not gay). We have all heard the stories, seen the movies and read the books. We have had heated debate about the need for honesty from these types of men and embraced the women who were victimized by the lies and deceit related to those situations. However, none of that is reason enough to create asinine ‘watch-out-for’ lists geared at placing a gay label on men who can quite well be straight. I know quite a few individuals who fit the mold of being labeled something else just because they don’t act like members of the status quo. Blacks who can articulate a sentence and properly converse with individuals from other races are considered ‘sell-outs’. White’s who ‘twerk’ are trying to be Black, and Black men who fall in love with White women are frowned upon. In reading the “10 Signs…..” I felt compassion for those straight men who may now be accused of being gay because they dress well, have gay friends, or like Oprah.

I am not sure if Farrah Gray himself wrote the article. It may just be a post that inadvertently made it to his website. Whatever the case may be I feel that he has enough money to hire people to monitor things such as this. But, what if he agrees with it? What if he subscribes to the notion that there are ways for a woman to tell if her man is on the DL? I would not be surprised if this list makes it to refrigerator message boards of single women everywhere. A sort of dating template that would let them know when to run away from a potential suitor. Even worse, some men may be awakened at 2 am because their women noticed some similarities and need answers. Needless to say that guys who sleep with an eye mask to reduce morning under-eye-puffiness had better get ready.

My sisters take it from me that there is no real way to know if your man is having sex with men. If he is truly on the Down-Low the only way you will find out is if he tells you, or he jades the man he is sleeping with and you get a shocking phone call from a stranger named Tyrone.

Click link to read the list and get your chuckle:

#sexuality #relationships #stereotypes

Featured Posts